Being Spoiled

By Roberto Garabelli

 If you thought the route to sexual happiness was straightforward, look at this list of sexual blunders made by men when they’re having sex. If any of them are familiar, you’ve got some work to do on your bedroom etiquette!

1) Going straight for her vulva, clitoris or breasts

A woman is more likely to be irritated than sexually aroused when a man heads for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes’ kissing. Be sensitive and touch her sexual parts only when she’s already aroused. If you go for her breasts when you start foreplay and twiddle her nipples like you’re tuning a radio receiver, you’re not going to get the right signals.

2) Not knowing how to kiss romantically

Passionate kissing is an art form which eases you both into the main part of sex and cultivates intimacy. Learn how to kiss your woman, and do it well. That wouldn’t include sticking your tongue between her teeth and wiggling it around madly.

3) Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like to have a firm touch applied to their penis. But if you approach her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you’re treating Mr. Happy to a quick morning massage, she’s likely to howl with pain - and kick you out of bed. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, so it’s very sensitive. Treat it accordingly.

4) Not stroking her body

A woman’s biggest sex organ is her mind. The next biggest is her skin. If you were thinking of anything else, think again. For her, sex is all about making connection. And that includes skin to skin contact. An hour spent massaging her will arouse her to her need for sex and almost certainly guarantee she has an orgasm one way or another. So ensure you focus on putting some sexual energy into your fingers while you massage her. That means not thinking distractedly about the football game while you’re oiling her up.

5) Locking onto her nipples like a teething child

Tempting though it may be to suck on her breasts, she’s not going to want you reminding her of the last time a teething child bit into her nipple. Kiss all around her breasts and gently work towards her nipple, licking it with your tongue and maybe carefully sucking it between your lips when she’s really aroused. If she likes what you’re doing, you’ll know by her moans of delight.

6) Biting or blowing on her earlobe because you think it’s sexy

Very few women seem to find this exciting. Your time would be better spent searching out her erogenous zones elsewhere.

7) Leaving a hickey on her neck

If you’re over the age of consent, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you’re obviously under age and you shouldn’t be having sex.

Not shaving before sex

Think what it was like the last time you gave oral sex to a woman with a few days’ stubble around her vulva. Now imagine that stubble brushing back and forth on your face in the mad throes of passionate kissing. Enough said?

9) Not washing your smelly bits before you make love

Even if you have what the French call a tart’s wash, make sure you’re clean when you enter the bedroom. (In case you need to know - the male tart’s wash is washing your penis, balls, ass, and armpits.)

10) Forgetting that foreplay starts a long time before sex

No woman wants to be taken for granted. If you touch her lovingly all day, show how much you love her, and take the trouble to make sure she knows you love her, she’ll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime. Leaving loving little billets-douxwhere she’ll find them is also a good idea. That doesn’t include functional notes like “Don’t forget to collect the dog from the vets, lots of love.”

11) Penetrating her before she’s ready

Yes, we know you want to get into her. But hold on. Take your time, let events move at their own pace, and only gently put that finger up her vagina when she’s ready. While men forget that women like to be entered just as much as men (which is just as well, when you think how much men like to stick things up a woman), she’ll only want this when she’s aroused enough to enjoy it. So as you finger her clit, you can check out her vagina. If it’s moist and open, she may well be receptive to a finger on her G-spot. Start gently and apply a firmer touch as you go. If you don’t know what the G-spot is, go check it out on the internet.

12) Going straight to her clitoris during cunnilingus or masturbation

Most women just find this irritating - and very uncomfortable too, if the clit isn’t aroused and lubricated. Work from around her labia, the lips around her vulva, towards the clitoris as she gets more sexuall excited. Even then, a subtle touch along the shaft of her clitoris around to the side of the clitoral head may be better for her.

3) Stopping when she wants you to keep going at all costs

If she’s almost at orgasm she certainly won’t want you to stop whatever you’re doing, whether it’s with your penis, your fingers or your tongue. Bearing in mind how hard on the tongue cunnilingus can be, we suggest you make sure your fingers are ready to take over if you get a bad case of lock jaw. If she’s not saying much, she may be lying there silent because she’s got lost in her sexual arousal, not because you’re licking ineffectively at her clit. But then again, how would you know? She may be loving what you’re doing that she shows it by pressing her vulva more firmly against your mouth, in which case give her more of your touch. If she gives off an aura that she’d rather be cooking the dinner, you need to think of something else. Like asking her what she wants, maybe?

14) Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don’t have to take her bra off with one hand blindfold in the dark while you kiss her. Indeed, she might well appreciate it more if you let her disrobe. Nothing about an underwear fumble is funny, especially if it interrupts the romance. Let her take off the clothes you don’t know about and when you do help, make it look like you’re undressing her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you can’t wait to her - even if you that’s true.

15) Looking like a clown in the bedroom

Nothing is more comical to a woman than a man wearing his underpants and socks. Why this should be so remains a mystery, since it seems so natural to a man to undress like that. However, if you don’t want her to laugh, take off your socks first.

16) Expecting her to shave for you

Yes, we know you like the smooth look around her vulva, but if she’s not into shaving, don’t try and make her do it for you. There are few things more annoying than itchy stubble in the pubes. If you want to see more and have easier access to her pussy, ask her to lightly trim the hair.

17) Entering her without asking her first

Such a controversial idea! And yet so nice - occasionally, at least - to be romantic and ask “May I enter you?” This can be a very sexy and loving way to go if you’re looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that’s most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone’s most popular position for sex. And then again, there are times when you can just sense the moment for penetration - but always remember not to let your judgment be affected by how much you want to get your penis inside her. Yes, we know it feels very nice. But be a man - and make sure she’s ready first.

18) Pecking away around her vulva with your penis if you can’t find the way in

This will turn her off at once - guaranteed. If you can’t find the way in (it happens) on your own, ask her to guide your penis in. There’s no shame in that, but acting like a clown can ruin sex for you both. And anyway, think how much time you’ll save if she just puts it in for you.

19) Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

Now you’re in! Hurrah! But where do you go from here? Vigorous thrusting? Bad idea…..surely you’ll want to show some consideration for her pleasure? Start with slow and shallow thrusts. When you make love, she’ll like it best if you act like a real man: be confident, know what you’re doing, be considerate and gentle at first, and work up to harder and more vigorous thrusts if she starts moaning with pleasure (as in “oh, yes, me harder!”).

20) Expecting her to willingly offer her bottom to you when you want rear entry sex

It’s a male thing, the desire for rear entry sex. Mostly. Then again, there will be times when the mood takes her and she just wants the naughty, raunchy feeling of rear entry sex. In between, you might get it on special occasions, if you’re lucky. And if you do persuade her to get her ass in the air, don’t make the mistake of slapping her rump like you’re riding a horse.

21) Getting carried away when you have a big penis

If you happen to have a large member, restrain yourself as you thrust, or you might hear her shriek as you hit her cervix. This will not, probably, be a shriek of sexual pleasure. It may, however, signal the end of your pleasure for now.

22) Rapid ejaculation is not the mark of a mature lover

Very few men have the endurance that allows them to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. You can improve your endurance with self help exercises, but if you just can’t be bothered, at least have the decency to keep going for long enough to give her some pleasure. Do some research on Google for “end premature ejaculation”.

23) Not coming at all - delayed ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is not a good thing. She won’t see it as any kind of blessing, either, when her vagina is bone dry, she’s bored out of her mind and you still aren’t anywhere near ejaculating. So if you are one of the ten percent of men who have trouble reaching orgasm, go see a sexual therapist! The quicker you get treated, the sooner she’ll be able to enjoy sex with you and stop having plenty of time to think about the exact shade of paint to put on the bedroom ceiling.

24) Losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you’re one of the many men who find that Mr Happy goes to sleep when the condom makes an appearance, it’s back to Google for you. Try a search on “losing erection when putting on a condom” and see if there are any tips to keep your erection.

25) Not being willing to go down on her when she wants cunnilingus

I haven’t yet met a man who didn’t like the idea of going down on a woman, so any reservations must be about her scent or taste. If she’s a bit ripe, then suggest a bath as part of foreplay. If all you’re interested in is getting her to suck your cock and you won’t do the same in return, reading these tips isn’t going to help you.

26) Failing to give her pleasure if you have premature ejaculation

By the way, {{{you should make sure that your woman has an orgasm before you dowomen come first

The author owns Men and The Penis. You can find more articles at Male Sexuality.

The People Who Are Spoiled And The Things They Get Away With

spoiled girls

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.