Being Spoiled

By Brad Lebo

 If your heart is breaking because of lost love, if you’ve been betrayed, abandoned, “dumped”, or you know you must leave a relationship because of abuse, you certainly are not alone. Relationships coming to an end is common. Even if we look only at divorce rates, “50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce”. Countless other romantic relationships end every moment of every day and in most cases, someone feels despair and heart break.

So, what to do? The answer is: (1) take care of your physical and emotional self, (2) take additional care of your emotional self by repeating over and over again, “I will get through this and feel better”, and (3) start working on acceptance of the loss. This article will present the details of these three steps so you can start your recovery from heart break today.

Move your body.

In case it is not obvious why this is a recommendation, let me note that no less than the US Surgeon General reported an association between physical exercise and a sense of psychological well-being. Regular exercise increases physical and emotional tolerance of stressful events. Moving your body will help fight off feelings associated with anxiety and depression.

Eat well.

After a relationship ends you might feel like overeating, like not eating at all, or like binging on “high sugar” foods (for example, ice cream and chocolate). The goal of the advice “eat well” is to eat healthy foods in moderate quantities despite not wanting to eat or wanting to do nothing but eat. Healthy eating is consistent with the advice of Micheal Pollan (author of In Defense of Food and The Omnivore’s Dilemma): “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs.

This is stating the obvious. I hope you are not learning here that alcohol and drugs do not solve any problems and often compound any problems you do have. As tempting as numbing your self to pain through alcohol and drugs may be, avoid giving into temptation. Doing otherwise will, 99 times out of 100, just slow down your recovery.

Rest through sleeping enough.

Getting adequate sleep is critical to maintain your resilience in the face of stress. In the book, Making a Good Brain Great, the author Daniel G. Amen notes that “getting less than six and a half hours of sleep at night decreases our ability to fight stress”.

Seek the support of a network of friends.

In the book, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: A Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping, author Robert M. Sapolsky carefully distinguishes between relationships with supportive friends and relationships with everyone else. Regular contact with supportive friends and family members can reduce the harm caused by stress. Contact with friends or others who are not supportive does not reduce the harm caused by stress and may make things worse.

Repeat over and over again to your self: “I will get through this and feel better”.

If you have never been through a breakup before, tell your self this based on faith and your observation that others, perhaps even close friends of yours, survive breakups and soon start feeling much better. If you have been through a breakup before, remember the experience from the first moments of loss through your transition to feeling better and presumably to being “in love” again. You should find comfort in knowing that you will get through your heart break and despair to feeling better. In many ways, getting through a breakup is a kind of surviving - you can do it, you will get through it to better times.

Start working on acceptance of your loss.

This is the third priority in the self care portion of your recovery for a reason: it is less important than taking care of your physical and emotional self. At the same time, acceptance is the path to full recovery. From the first days “float” the thought, “I can accept this outcome and move on”.

Self care or self help is a way to start and accelerate your recovery from the heart break of a broken relationship. Taking care of your physical and emotional self along with starting to accept your loss are the first steps on the path to feeling better.

Be active in helping your self. Be well.

Dr. Lebo is a licensed psychologist who has been practicing for twenty years. He can be reached by email at drlebo@selfhelpinsight.com. You can also visit the selfhelpinsight.com website for additional information on recovering from a lost love and heart break.

10 Best Ways To Diet - So Easy That You Will Not Believe It
By Izrul Fizal

 I have listed here 10 best ways to diet for you to implement right away. The best thing of all, what I am going to reveal to you is the most effective and painless diet that you should not be afraid of trying. Do not worry, it has nothing to do with the popular phrase of “Eat less, more exercise”.

1) Drink A Lot Of Plain Water

Many people confuse between hungry and thirsty. When they are confuse, they usually pick to satisfy their hunger by eating a lot. What they should do is by drinking a glass of water. If you do not want to drink plain water, you can also drink fruit juice.

2) Think About Increasing Your Diet Activities

If you are seriously want to diet and lose weight, you should consider to increase the number of your diet activities every single day and not reducing it. For example, you should concentrate on eating 5 to 9 meals of fruits and vegetables every day. Sounds like a lot but it is really worth your time.

3) Are You Really Hungry?

This is more on mindset. When you have finish eating your meal, you should feel refresh and more energetic. If you feel tired after eating, then you know you have eaten too much.

4) Choose Light Food At Night

It is common to eat something when you are watching TV. There are two options to solve this, either you can close your kitchen door so you will not look for something to eat, or you can buy some food with low calories.

5) Enjoy Your Favorite Food

Do not try to eat less or limit your favorite food. It is a psychological thing, if you eat less, the desire to eat more of your favorite food will increase. When this happen, you will eat more than you should.

6) Eat Several Light Meals During The Day

If you eat lots of food with less calories in a high amount several times in one day, you will find it easier to diet rather than eat a lot of high calories food in one time. Implement this technique during the day and eat as usual at night.

7) Eat Food With Protein

Eating food that contain lots of protein will satisfy your hunger faster than taking food with fat or carbohydrates. Protein can also burn your fat inside your body. Several food that have lots of protein are yogurt, cheese and beans.

Chilly Can Help

If you eat food with lots of chilly, you will feel hot. When this happen, usually you are not going to eat more because you will drink a lot of water to reduce the hot.

9) Feel Up Your Refrigerator With Frozen Food

Not just any frozen food, but make sure the food is healthy and fast to cook. If you feel like taking a burger or fries, just open up your refrigerator and start cooking yourself.

10) Strong Determination To Diet

If you implement 9 of the diet tips that I have given but you do not have a strong determination to diet, than whatever you do will only waste your time. You need to have faith and believe in yourself that you can lose weight fast.

There you have it, 10 best ways to diet that you can try right away. One last advice, “Eat when you are hungry, stop eating before you are full”.

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The People Who Are Spoiled And The Things They Get Away With

spoiled rotten

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